Car Cost Damage Report
Instalment, fuel, insurance, tyres, services and the silent killer: depreciation.
"Your car payment is just the trailer. This is the full movie."
Serious maths. Questionable humour.
Your money is doing ridiculous things. Let's investigate.
From cars that eat your salary to bonds that last longer than some marriages, we show you what your money is really up to. Real calculations, plain explanations, a light roasting and results worth sharing.
Auntie Randie says
"Come in, sit down. Let's see what financial decisions we're defending today."
The calculator menu
Pick your poison.
Every calculator runs honest maths, explains the results in plain language and roasts you just enough to remember them. Tap "I want this" on the ones we should build next.
Live now
The machines that move you and quietly empty your account.
The Two-Car Showdown
Two contenders, one honest true-cost gap and what the difference could grow into.
"Settle the 'but it's only R800 more a month' argument for good."
The Bad Habit Audit
Coffees, takeaways, vapes, Friday rounds — priced over a year, a decade and a retirement.
"That 'small' daily coffee has been quietly saving up for a Suzuki Swift. For someone else."
Roof Over Your Head
Coming soonBricks, bonds and the great 'rent is dead money' debate.
The Bond That Ate My Salary
Transfer duty, bond costs, rates, levies and 20 years of interest, all on one page.
"Find out how many houses you buy the bank before you own yours."
Buy vs Rent Showdown
Owning versus renting and investing the difference, with maintenance and levies included.
"Is rent dead money? Or is your bond just dead money with a garden?"
Future You
Coming soonYour older self is watching. They have opinions.
Retirement: Champagne or Two-Minute Noodles?
What you're saving, what you'll need and the gap in between.
"Find out which one future-you is drinking."
Savings Target Reality Check
How long until the holiday, emergency fund or escape plan is actually paid for.
"'One day' is not a date. Let's get you an actual one."
Sneak peek: car cost calculator
Your instalment is only the opening act.
Here's a R350,000 car on finance at an illustrative 12.75%, driven 15,600 km a year. The bank isn't the only one at the dinner table.
Try it with your carMonthly cash damage
R11,319
Cost per km
R7.67/km
- FinanceR6,258
- FuelR2,823
- InsuranceR1,225
- MaintenanceR813
- OtherR200
Total monthly cashR11,319
Illustrative example using default assumptions.
Why Randiculous?
- 1
Brutally honest maths
Real formulas for interest, depreciation and growth. No bank spin, no AI guessing.
- 2
Questionable humour
Money truths go down easier with a laugh. We roast the numbers, never the person.
- 3
Shareable proof
One-page reports and showdown slips to settle arguments with your partner, or the dealer.